Doug Wilson Says If Your Wife ‘Continues to Rebel’ by Not Doing the ‘Dishes,’ ‘Call the Elders’ for a ‘Pastoral Visit’

“Suppose for a moment that he [a husband] wants to really serve God in their marriage, and she [his wife] appears to be distinctly rebellious about changing any of her ways. What course should a man pursue?…he should require something very simple, i.e., that the dishes be done after every meal before anything else is done. The first time the dishes are not done, he must sit down with his wife immediately and gently remind her that this is something which has to be done. At no time may he lose his temper, badger her, call her names, etc. He must constantly remember and confess that she is not the problem, he is. By bringing this gently to her attention, he is not to be primarily pointing to her need to repent; rather, he is exhibiting the fruit of his repentance. He does this, without rancor and without an accusative spirit, until she complies or rebels. If she complies, he must move up one step, now requiring that another of her duties be done. If she continues to rebel after patient effort, he should at some point call the elders of the church and ask them for a pastoral visit.”¹ — Doug Wilson

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